And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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