talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
