You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
