I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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