Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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