I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
