I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
