oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
