I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
