is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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