im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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