I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Non-Jews are for practice
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
