cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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