so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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