so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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