The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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