Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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