I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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