I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
