Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
