I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
