So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
