So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
