Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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