i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
