R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize