I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
