Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
