But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
