Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
