she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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