Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
