Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
