There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
