so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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