My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
