Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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