dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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