And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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