i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
