Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
