he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
