He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
