weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
someone owes me an orgasm
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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