He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
