dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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