can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
