i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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