break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
