He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
