If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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