remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
