i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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