You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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