Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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